What is GISHWHES?
GISHWHES is both the problem and the solution.
GISHWHES is an underground movement — cult, if you will — which aims to take over the internet, and then following that the world, with the help of our Leader.
It’s an experiment of “record-setting proportions”.
Who runs GISHWHES?
There seem to be two main people who run GISHWHES. First, our Leader (interchangeable with ‘Overlord’, ‘Misha’ and ‘Babysitter’. I just prefer ‘Leader’):
Misha’s full name is Misha Dmitri Tippens Krushnic. He’s from Greenville, Massachusetts. He once got arrested because he went to read a book on top of a bank because he needed better lighting. He like green tea. He has two turtles. He smells like watermelons. He has spent several months in seclusion in monasteries in Tibet. He is a certified lifeguard, EMT, and motorcyclist. He has slept in an igloo. He kayaks, snowboards, bikes, and runs. He interned with the White House Administration. He made jokes on his FBI background check. He stole security badges from the White House and made a mobile out of them. He is a published poet. He made most of the furniture in his house. He does a lot for charity and uses his influence to encourage his ‘minions’ to contribute. He was named after his mother’s Russian ex-boyfriend. He graduated Northfield Mount Hermon School. He attended University of Chicago. He has young brother and two sisters. He visited Russia three times: 1989, 1991 and 2004. His life motto/favorite phrase: “Death to normalcy”.
I’ll be fair; we think we know a lot about our Leader, but really he shows us a glimpse, just a teensy glimpse of what he’s got going on out there in the big bad world.
Miss Jean Louis
Not much is known about Miss Jean Louis. There seem to be no pictures of her. Her Twitter picture is Lady With Cig and Beer by XiaMan. In her own words she was ‘Born in a hut in Khor Angar, in the dirt. Midwifed into the world kicking and screaming and that is how [she] shall leave.’ She comes from Khor Angar, a town located in the Obock Region of Djibouti.
According to sources Miss Jean Louis is an “adventurer, artist [and] despiser of all things steam punk.”
Tiffany solved @whatisgishwhes’ riddle and has been rewarded. She’s good at following rules and is clever. She will apparently recover by 2015.
Using a nifty google trick, it was discovered that there is possibly someone else who runs the website/collaborates with our Leader.
The page seems to lead nowhere. (Except to a Wordpress blog… Hence, this page’s origins.) It has been suggested that ‘Tracy’ is Tracy Liu from Random Acts (who also runs two livejournal communities: deancastiel and spn_castiel).
Unfortunately, I have no pictures of her. It is possible that our Leader needed help with his site or it could be a very smart troll on his part. Both are equally likely.
Not much is known about @whatisgishwhes. All we know is that they are a My Little Pony doll, dressed up to look like an angel we all know and love. According to @whatisgishwhes, “I cannot be defined, described, delineated, deconstructed or decomposed.”
Where is GISHWHES?
GISHWHES is everywhere. We are starting a revolution across the world.
Does GISHWHES have a flag?
At first Gishwheseans did not want a flag; that would slightly undermine the underground part of GISHWHES. However, we also needed something to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies (though we have few), and therefore we came up with a design.
However popular battle cries include: ‘Praise the Lord!’ and ‘Trololol’.
Does GISHWHES have a password?
I’m afraid (to keep the underground movement a relatively safe secret) I cannot tell you the password. You must discover it for yourself. The answer is hidden in plain sight.
Does GISHWHES have any nemeses?
Only Westboro Baptist Church. Oh, and those who actively oppose our Leader.
But more importantly, anyone who likes steampunk and Tommy Hilfiger.
What about the future?
GISHWHES is the future. As for the future of GISHWHES… Well, only our Leader knows for sure.
Does GISHWHES have colours or shapes associated with it?
Blue might be associated with GISHWHES. And Gold. Spirals too.
Got any symbology?
According to the all-knowing, the sun and moon and pony rides.